Liver failure

I am officially no longer taking treatments for cancer. My liver is failing and the treatments would just add to my suffering and/or the deterioration of my liver. My prognosis is now less than two months, although things could go differently. The focus is on comfort and improving my sleep pattern.



I know my recent posts have sounded down. Until I got a stronger pain medication, I indeed was feeling quite miserable. The new medication is helping, though it has its own side effects.



I have enjoyed having my children spending time with me. And soon other family members will come to Tennessee to see my husband and me. That will be a blessing.I am trying to use the time I have to finish some writing and crocheting and getting things organized around here, particularly paperwork. I am also spending time reading the Bible and thanking and praising the Lord for His mercies that are new each day.



"I will bless the Lord at all times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord; the humble shall here thereof and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears. " Psalms 34: 1-4

Waiting on the Lord

There are times when waiting is all one can do.

I've been pondering how it is I should be handling my situation right now, how I should be behaving. One thing that your comments and emails have shown me is that I need to keep praising God for His goodness, keep delighting in Him, and keep thanking Him for His mercies each day. So while I wait, I will try to focus on that. Pray that I do. As the Bible says, a merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Right now, that is the kind of medicine I need.

News

I saw my doctor today and found out that most of my malaise is due to my liver. Even the itching. We know this because my liver function tests were very bad. I was also told that my KRAS test was sent to New York and may take one more week to get results.

Still here

I haven't been feeling up to writing. I'm not getting much sleep and I'm still uncomfortable. If any of you , my friends or family, have some words of encouragement for me, especially a Bible verse, leave it as a comment or email me. I could use it right now.

Not feeling good

Still waiting for test results.
Still not being treated.
Feeling poorly.
This is not fun.
Lord, be merciful.

Life

Life. It is more than mere existence. A Bible dictionary describes the Jewish concept of life as vitality, productivity, fulfilling a purpose that delights the soul.

Jesus said "... I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Life is a gift from God. A vital, productive, fulfilling life is an extraordinary gift. More than that, abundant, eternal life is the most supreme gift of all.

I hope that you desire Life. More than that I hope that you receive the gift of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ.

Colon Cancer Update, etc

I had a second opinion consultation with the fine folks at the Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center. The doctor I spoke with said no to oxaliplatin...the neuropathy I have is too much to take any more oxaliplatin. She recommends irinotecan with Erbitux. However, before I can start on Erbitux, I need to have the biopsy slides tested for a particular mutation. That test will determine whether or not the Erbitux will work on me. It takes a long time to get this done.

Meanwhile, I am receiving no treatment at all, and that concerns me. Old symptoms of pain and fever have returned. My prognosis statistically is still not good. A matter of months. Fortunately, I am in relatively good health otherwise, except for my liver. The CT scan did not show any remarkable new growth. So maybe I have more than less time remaining.

Now is the time for my husband and I to get things in order. This is a very difficult thing to talk about, but it has to be done, just in case. I'm a planner; I like to be prepared. When I pack for a trip, I have a list of everything that is needed. I don't want to forget anything. So this to me is just another of those things in life one has to prepare for, even while I prepare for continuing to live.

I am putting some of my energy into writing down any words of wisdom to pass on to my children and grandchildren. I particularly want my grandchildren, none of whom are even born yet, to get to know a little about me. This probably is because I never got to know my own grandparents very well. My father's parents died long before I was born and my mother's mother died when I was 4. The only one I got to know a little bit was my mother's father, but he was a quiet man.

I still want my blog to be a place where I share words of wisdom and encouragement, but I am finding it difficult to find something new to say. I wrote a lot on another blog that no longer exists. Perhaps I will repeat some of those postings here. What do you think, fans? Would that be acceptable?

Well, we shall see what happens. There is a great unknown ahead of me. Here is a verse I will need to dwell on a lot:

"I can do all things through Christ which stengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13