It's time for Erbitux.

I saw my oncologist today and the news wasn't good. It appears that my current chemo regimen is no longer effective. She wants to change me to Erbitux and possibly go back on oxaliplatin, the stuff that damaged my nerves and made me extremely sensitive to touching anything cold, or even breathing cold air. My prognosis is not very good. A CT scan will be done next week. That will tell whether or not the cancer has grown. Meanwhile, I get an extra two weeks off from chemo.

The strange thing is, I don't feel any different. I fact, I have become interested in doing crafts, such as crocheting, cross-stitch and quilting again. I have a new desire to live, to see my first grandchild born, to visit new places.

If I take the oxaliplatin, my hands will likely become useless, or at least less useful. Typing or writing with a pen will be painful. Walking in shoes will be very uncomfortable, worse than it is now. Forget crocheting and cross-stitch. I won't be able to hold onto a needle or hook. Even my lips will become numb, and eating or drinking anything cold will be impossible due to the pain. No more ice cream! Or cold drinks.



On top of that, the Erbitux will possibly create a painful, acne-like rash. I have heard from some colon cancer patients that there is a way to treat it and it can improve.



This is going to be a tough call, because if the cancer isn't stopped, I likely don't have long to live. And dying from liver failure due to colon cancer is not a pleasant experience.



I need wisdom and courage whether to say yea or nay to oxaliplatin. I think I'll say yes to Erbitux. And I need more determination to eat better ( ie get rid of life's little pleasures...hard to do when you have to suffer so many other unpleasantries).