Not feeling good

Still waiting for test results.
Still not being treated.
Feeling poorly.
This is not fun.
Lord, be merciful.

Life

Life. It is more than mere existence. A Bible dictionary describes the Jewish concept of life as vitality, productivity, fulfilling a purpose that delights the soul.

Jesus said "... I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Life is a gift from God. A vital, productive, fulfilling life is an extraordinary gift. More than that, abundant, eternal life is the most supreme gift of all.

I hope that you desire Life. More than that I hope that you receive the gift of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ.

Colon Cancer Update, etc

I had a second opinion consultation with the fine folks at the Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center. The doctor I spoke with said no to oxaliplatin...the neuropathy I have is too much to take any more oxaliplatin. She recommends irinotecan with Erbitux. However, before I can start on Erbitux, I need to have the biopsy slides tested for a particular mutation. That test will determine whether or not the Erbitux will work on me. It takes a long time to get this done.

Meanwhile, I am receiving no treatment at all, and that concerns me. Old symptoms of pain and fever have returned. My prognosis statistically is still not good. A matter of months. Fortunately, I am in relatively good health otherwise, except for my liver. The CT scan did not show any remarkable new growth. So maybe I have more than less time remaining.

Now is the time for my husband and I to get things in order. This is a very difficult thing to talk about, but it has to be done, just in case. I'm a planner; I like to be prepared. When I pack for a trip, I have a list of everything that is needed. I don't want to forget anything. So this to me is just another of those things in life one has to prepare for, even while I prepare for continuing to live.

I am putting some of my energy into writing down any words of wisdom to pass on to my children and grandchildren. I particularly want my grandchildren, none of whom are even born yet, to get to know a little about me. This probably is because I never got to know my own grandparents very well. My father's parents died long before I was born and my mother's mother died when I was 4. The only one I got to know a little bit was my mother's father, but he was a quiet man.

I still want my blog to be a place where I share words of wisdom and encouragement, but I am finding it difficult to find something new to say. I wrote a lot on another blog that no longer exists. Perhaps I will repeat some of those postings here. What do you think, fans? Would that be acceptable?

Well, we shall see what happens. There is a great unknown ahead of me. Here is a verse I will need to dwell on a lot:

"I can do all things through Christ which stengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13

Stopping to smell the roses

I know, that's an old cliche. But it is what my husband and I have been doing a little more of lately. A few weeks ago we took a trip back north just to visit family. We took more time than the usual rush up and back. We had a good time rekindling the family ties. We also took some time to actually stop and see some sights along the way, such as a waterfall in the Delaware Water Gap in Pennsylvania. We had driven that road (Route 209) for as many years as we have been married and we never stopped to follow any of the signs to the falls. It was such a delight to be walking in the cool shade amidst the wild rhododendrons, following a boardwalk trail to the waterfalls. We also visited Lancaster County (Amish country) and actually went into some of the shops and a quilt museum (which inspired me to try my hand at making a simple quilt). Finally, last weekend we went to the Creation Museum in Florence, KY almost at the spur of the moment (sorry, another cliche) and thoroughly enjoyed it. The ministry of Answers in Genesis has done a fantastic job.

Something else I have been doing, which I have neglected, is crocheting. After making two small blankets, I wonder why I hadn't done this sooner. I enjoy crafts such as needlework, crochet and sewing. I did a lot more when I was younger. It is strange, but I have a hard time getting myself to start a project, but once I do, I thoroughly enjoy it, even if I do make mistakes, and I find it hard to stop.

Before I close, I must share a Bible verse. Have I shared this one before?

"Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. " Psalms 103: 1- 5