I had a second opinion consultation with the fine folks at the Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center. The doctor I spoke with said no to oxaliplatin...the neuropathy I have is too much to take any more oxaliplatin. She recommends irinotecan with Erbitux. However, before I can start on Erbitux, I need to have the biopsy slides tested for a particular mutation. That test will determine whether or not the Erbitux will work on me. It takes a long time to get this done.
Meanwhile, I am receiving no treatment at all, and that concerns me. Old symptoms of pain and fever have returned. My prognosis statistically is still not good. A matter of months. Fortunately, I am in relatively good health otherwise, except for my liver. The CT scan did not show any remarkable new growth. So maybe I have more than less time remaining.
Now is the time for my husband and I to get things in order. This is a very difficult thing to talk about, but it has to be done, just in case. I'm a planner; I like to be prepared. When I pack for a trip, I have a list of everything that is needed. I don't want to forget anything. So this to me is just another of those things in life one has to prepare for, even while I prepare for continuing to live.
I am putting some of my energy into writing down any words of wisdom to pass on to my children and grandchildren. I particularly want my grandchildren, none of whom are even born yet, to get to know a little about me. This probably is because I never got to know my own grandparents very well. My father's parents died long before I was born and my mother's mother died when I was 4. The only one I got to know a little bit was my mother's father, but he was a quiet man.
I still want my blog to be a place where I share words of wisdom and encouragement, but I am finding it difficult to find something new to say. I wrote a lot on another blog that no longer exists. Perhaps I will repeat some of those postings here. What do you think, fans? Would that be acceptable?
Well, we shall see what happens. There is a great unknown ahead of me. Here is a verse I will need to dwell on a lot:
"I can do all things through Christ which stengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13
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1 comment:
Carolyn,
I enjoyed our girls outing tonight. Soon as the house settled down I went straight to your blog. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Here is a poem from someone else I know that is going through cancer right now shared.
"What Cancer Can't Do"
Cancer is so limited...It cannot cripple love, it cannot shatter hope, it cannot corrode faith, it cannot eat away peace, it cannot destroy confidence, it cannot kill friendship, it cannot shut our memories, it cannot silence courage, it cannot invade the soul, it cannot reduce eternal life, it cannot quench the Spirit, it cannot lessen the power of the Resurrection.
"The Lord will hear when I call unto Him." Psalm 4:3
Keeping you in my heart and prayers.
Tammy
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